In How I Learned to Sing, there are a couple of sestinas for my dad. The 2nd tries to capture something of one of my favourite things in life: walking up to Deepdale, home of Preston North End, with my dad. I tried to make it a bit like a poem version of an animation in which we morph from me as a child to me leading him, now a slower and older man. I wanted to pull off that lee Hall trick of it being full of feeling and sentiment without it being sentimental. I didn't want anything 'clipped' though: it is a risky gesture, and not for me to say if it came off.
I share the poem below, as I dubbed it a 'Finnale: ancient Lancastrian verse form, a sestina mentioning Sir Tom Finney' and Sir Tom passed away last night aged 91. There's no need for me to say much about what a great man he was, and how sad that is. For North End supporters, I think he's always been a kind of grandfather figure. It's sad he never got to see PNE back in the top flight. I love the photograph above for all sorts of reasons, some of which are also wrapped up in the poem.
2nd sestina for my Dad, a Deepdale Finnale
I
march as if catching up, feet off the ground
across
every gutter, from the bus station, my Dad
swerving
me through ginnels he used to walk
with
his gang from Lady Street, demolished now, toward a win,
but
only for the police horses on the terraces as we lose,
then
make our way back through fight-littered streets
that
now glow in the dark, suddenly glamorous streets -
one
set of expectations drowning another, grounds
for
a Saturday night on the tiles as I lose
him
in the crowd, squeeze back to the barrier and there’s Dad
leant
where he can hardly see, dreaming of pools wins
and
telling his friend the boss exactly where to walk,
how
one day we’d drive there, stop short to walk
from
Nan’s penultimate nursing home through streets
a
shimmer of redbrick fresco into sunlit wind,
make
our way across Moor Park’s muddy ground
hopeful
and joking, sometimes with my Mum, Dad’s
being
dragged there something we did together, lost
when
her legs would not support her, when to simply lose
was
harder than it had ever been to make that slow walk
through
optimism and renewal, to find in my Dad
imagined
grit of those proud sheepish workers’ streets
turned
into short lets, passing through drugged ground
where
the roar for late equalisers sounds like a win
to
wretched early leavers too eagerly taking wing,
his
shot knees cracking shut to slow him, mine loose
as
ever, dragging my son now, hopeful
that the ground
floodlit
ahead might hold a game that would let us walk
away
brightly, with only praise, only laughter, through streets
rivering
with victors around us as we wait for Granddad,
eddies
of history, generations of anticipation, all that Dad
disdained
to climb so high to see, an echo of a Finney win
blowing
these foggy memory-streaked streets,
full
of everything all of us will one day lose,
someone
who remembers the ancient trail we walk
towards
who knows what, away from the very ground
that
taught Dad how to teach me to lose
the
desire to always win, to find a line to walk
through
tight-woven streets, mapping memory’s home ground.
Finnale: ancient Lancastrian
verse form, a sestina mentioning Sir Tom Finney
